Near Death

An experience I originally penned typed weeks ago, just now published:

This weekend I was out harvesting cherry tomatoes.  I ran across this creature and nearly fainted.  Wait, no, what I really did was I drew back my hand as fast as lightning and stood staring.  Waiting for it to move.  I glanced at my arm to make sure no relatives were skittering upon it--for I suddenly felt all sorts of hairy tingles everywhere.  I backed away, and took several breaths.  

I thought about my options.  I could leave the tomatoes to the spider.  I didn't like that option.  If I wanted the tomatoes badly enough, I would have to squish the spider before it ate me alive.  But the thought made me cringe and delay and cringe and shudder and cringe.  Lots of cringing.

After taking a picture so that Eric could see how close he came to losing me, I went to find his gloves.  Then I cringed and shuddered some more then PINCHED him between my gloved fingers.  And I squealed.  Ewwww!  It was so gross.  He had a gigantic body full of lots of guts that just POPPED like a firework and the gloves just could not prevent my feeling that sensation.  And then it was over.  I inhaled and exhaled and I picked my tomatoes.

Later, Eric encouraged me to search out the name of the spider via Google.  I did.  It was a garden spider.  Harmless to humans, helpful to tomatoes.

Hmmmmm.  But it was just so BIG!